Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
