I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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