My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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