i don't like sucking hair
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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