I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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