I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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