I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The feeling are messing with the penis
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
