dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
