North Korea, Best Korea!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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