She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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