I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
last night I used snow as a chaser
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
