I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize