so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
