would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize