I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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