I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
