that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
