return my video game
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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