I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm at about main and main street
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
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