so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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