I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
