Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
