Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
