I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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