Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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