Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
