I think I died a long time ago.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
