I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
