i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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