It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
