No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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