There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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