Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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