Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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