Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
