I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize