So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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