i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
