It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
