I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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