okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
