you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
