Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
