what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize