I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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