You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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