When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
