I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
