i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
