She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
