you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
