I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
