So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
