I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize