if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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