K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
