Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
