Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
