Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
