Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
