allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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