guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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