I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
