Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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