Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
