One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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