Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
