one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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