Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
