Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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