Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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