apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
