Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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