Already got asked if we're dating
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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