I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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