It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There's always time for handjobs
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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