you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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