If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
