why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
