Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
