i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
