Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
