your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
